Ahh…Romance

Everyone knows I am a hopeless romantic. My family, friends, everyone in my life, and you the readers all see the desire for romance in life and relationships. I am incessantly troubled by the excuses put forth by the people around me for allowing romance to be devoid of their daily existence. Instead of valid romance, true romance, society has settled for something much less. Less magical, less glamorous, less than appropriate.

Today, sitting, waiting, once more for Pop at the doctor’s office, I found myself trapped by the television. I was doing my best to ignore the prattling announcers but I was pulled in eventually. The topic on the morning talk show was the reality series, “The Bachelor.” I found this bothersome, listening to them talk about romance, riding off into the sunset and living happily ever after. REALLY? Love, romance, happily ever after, on a reality television show? Doubtful. More like a possibility of a spin off, magazine covers, and lots of money to be made by sponsors. Romance? Not so much!

Romance and possibly love are not part of a scripted show. (I believe these so called reality shows have scripts longer than a feature film.) I wonder why anyone feels humiliating one’s self and others on national television is romantic? Handing out roses, chains, and clocks, (whatever the theme of the program may be) to a line of waiting participants with cameras rolling, seems less than romantic to me. Watching the crumbled faces of men or women as they are ‘voted off’, seeing the proud faces of the participants who stay behind, the fake goodbye by the person doing the ‘voting off’ is not only less than romantic but revolting. If this is what romance has been reduced to, then I am worried.

Millions of people tune into these shows drawn in my who knows what. My question is how many of these viewers are women? Are these the same single women who want romance in their lives? Even worse is my second thought. Do men watch these shows and feel that this type of “love ‘em and leave ‘em” behavior is acceptable? Not only acceptable but also possibly romantic? If this is the case then romance will die a slow painful, death.

Yesterday a reader brought to my attention the idea the economy could possibly be part of the reason romance is dying. Where I appreciate my reader Maze and the comment left on my romance meltdown blog, I am not prepared to agree. Just as I said in my response to Maze, romance is not a monetary issue. Romance comes from the heart. Romance is not about expensive gifts, dinners out, or fancy trips. Nor is it about who can play football the best against a team of others competing for the same person’s heart on a television program. (When I saw that online I nearly fainted. Winning a football to be awarded a romantic date? Come on now!) Most television programs we watch give an idea that romance has to be flashy and normally expensive. This is not true. In an economy as sad as our current one a good old fashioned walk in the park, star gazing on a clear night, or a rented movie and a bowl of popcorn would suffice.

We as a society have become terribly lost in our quest for romance. People in general are mixing up material goods for love, confusing televised contests for true romance. Instead, we should be looking at the simple things, the free or inexpensive things to allow romance back into our lives. As I told my new reader Maze, when times are tough in life we should lean on the person we are in a relationship with instead of ignore them. As times get harder we look at the wrong things in our daily life. Society in general begins to shut down and to lean on things they should not… yes… I am heading back to reality television! (Nice loop around huh?)

Instead of sitting in front of the boob tube wasting our time with the lives of others, we need to think of our own and our own relationships. Why should we be wasting our time with people we will never meet, people who are getting their fifteen minutes of fame, who would not care about us? Getting off the couch, turning off the television would do everyone a little good. Step out of the house, meet new people instead of staring at those on a screen you will never actually interact with.  Romance is not only simple but also beautiful. If we allow it into our lives and hearts, understand how our kindness can change the lives of others, I doubt we will need these reality shows any longer.

If you truly want reality, then why not live? Have a tangible relationship with a real person. If you have been in the dating scene anytime recently you will see it is not much different from the shows the populace seems to be addicted to. You are competing for the man or woman of your choice. You may be looked over for someone else. Heck, it is just like these terrible shows minus the spray on tan, too much makeup, fake tears, and cameras.  It may be even more brutal.

I am not sure about everyone else but my reality is much better than the one on prime time! My reality is something to be proud of. Every mistake I make is my own, each error is a chance to learn and become stronger. I do not have to worry about what a million people at home eating fatty snacks might be thinking of me. In your own reality, your bad date is something to suffer alone instead of share with others. Reality is forgiving. Reality television is not. No one will be talking about your bad date or failed romance on the morning news in real life. I believe we should keep our romances between our self and the other person involved. As well I believe if you are lucky enough to have someone in your life you should lean on them when you have a struggle. Proceeding through a problem together only makes you relationship stronger. Strong relationships lead to love. And of course romance and love go hand in hand.

Good luck and remember romance can be achieved. (Just turn off your television first!)

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