Ahh…Romance

In our most romantic fantasy, we have the setting, the outfit and the perfect man. Fantasies are what keep people going. Fantasies despite what some people think are completely healthy. (Just make sure you do not call out the wrong name at the wrong time!) However, in all honesty how often do our romantic or sexual fantasies become real? So far, in my life, it has not happened. I am not holding my breath either. These scenarios, at least in my case, are a little farfetched. (A man that should be in a Calvin Klein underwear ad dressed like a pirate is pretty farfetched, I admit it.) Maybe that is why I write about romance?  

Romantic notions and fantasies aside, we still have hopes and standards for the perfect date, the perfect situation and normally the perfect man. These unlike our fantasies are practical. I have yet to run into a solitary person who does not have a certain”something” they look for in a potential partner. I have one girlfriend who is obsessed with men who have beards, another who likes guys who carry a little extra weight, and a few who won’t date a man unless he has a large amount of body hair. Me personally, I normally do not like men who have fair hair and skin.

We all have the certain thing that gets us going, that turns our head. Men are the same exact way. I dated someone for a while who could not stand blondes, which I did not understand in the least since I at the time had platinum blonde hair. I dated another man who never dated a woman over five feet five inches. At least that one made sense since I am super short. (If I would have grown into my size 9 feet I would have been six foot tall I have a feeling.) Goals are safe in the land of dating and romance, but try not to take them too far. 

 (A little hypothetical for you)

Have you ever walked into a bar (or insert your own place) and someone catches your eye? Looking at him again you mind you are not exactly sure why.  He is not your typical type. He may not even be that good looking, but something about him, never the less catches your attention.

Could it be the idea there is someone out there for everyone is true? Could it be even worse and the type that we have set up for ourselves has caused us to overlook a person who possibly is perfect for us? The fact that my whole life I have had a fixation for men with dark hair might have pushed me to look past a person who was supposed to be the one I ended up with in life just because he was blonde.  There were times when I saw a good looking man and felt that strange draw but thought to myself “No, he’s not my type.”  I doubt I am the only one this has happened to.

By setting up the ideal type in our brains, are we possibly causing our hearts to miss out on its match? Is it time to step out of our ideas on what our type is and let come what may?

Take me for instance I above mentioned a man with fair features normally is not what I am attracted to. However, show me a picture of native Texan male model Flip Ashley and I need a little quiet time. (Don’t know who I am talking about? Type the name into a search engine and you will thank me later.) Every rule of attraction should have some breathing room. Now if I were to walk into a nightclub and see Mr. Ashley (fully dressed) having a beer with his friends the spark would more than likely still be there. He may smile or even flirt.  I still wonder if I would push myself to keep walking knowing he is not my ideal type. (Who am I kidding someone that hot would not be interested in me but it is my story and I can think how I like!) 

In my research, I decided to look at an online dating site. Everything is about superficial nonsense: What you look like, your hobbies, interests, smoker / non-smoker. Really? That is how people are finding dates on the internet? There is no way you can find out what someone is really like via those types of details. I am sorry but the bar scene is worse. One again you are judging on appearance only and occasionally who will go home with you that night.

Set aside the ideas of beautiful green eyes or a great body, whatever attracts you to a man. Instead, I wonder if we need to look for someone who could possibly match what our hearts desire on the inside. (Yes, I am heading back to the world of romance.) There is someone out there for everyone. They may not be what we are looking for physically but may be the perfect match for our minds and hearts.  Inner beauty may outweigh the fact he does not match what you desire physically. Is it not our inner beauty that we hope someone might notice about us?

What happened to good old fashioned flirting? You see someone who gives you that tummy twister, you smile, he smiles, you talk for a while, and trade numbers. 

I am beginning to believe more and more if people are actually going to enjoy their dating experience broadening the horizon is a must. The idea of”This is what I am looking for in a man,” needs to go out the window. Let us go back to our juvenile ways! In our earlier years, we did not have the idea of who was perfect; we just held hands on the playground with whoever was nicest to us.

I believe life is our playground, it is time to give up the thoughts of who looks good and find who makes us feel good. Is that not what love and romance are about? Feeling good? Being happy? I say YES!!!

So next time you are out change your way of looking at the men around you. Whether purposely looking for a man or not, listen to your heart instead of your brain or lustful feelings. Mr. Right may be sitting right there, and you are missing him because he does not fit your type.

Good luck and remember romance can be achieved!

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