Feb 11 2009
Random Acts Of Romance… Look Close You May Miss them
My original take on this blog was and still is reviving and re-introducing romance to meet this era’s standards. This original idea of mine has not changed but morphed in a way. As women, we are going to have to change our ideas on what is romantic just as men have. We can no longer expect to see a guy show up on our door step flowers in hand wearing their best suit. This is not Leave it to Beaver, and he is not Wally Cleaver, just hope you do not end up with an Eddy Haskell. (Seriously if you do not get the reference there is a great site called YouTube, do a little research.) Instead of being constantly disappointed by men we need to branch out and accept the little things they take a crack at in attempt to make our lives easier or happier. This is the closest thing we may get to romance in our lives. Yes, my normal complaint is that men are no longer romantic unless by forced by women or a “Certain” holiday, but I am becoming worried that we may be over looking their romantic intentions.
Yet recently a few things have opened my eyes to the small number of stragglers of the male species that are romantic. Also opening my eyes to the attempts they are making. Just the other day in the grocery store, I stopped to admire a beautiful arrangement of flowers. A man was standing next to me with a bouquet of flowers in each hand and asked me which I thought was prettier. I picked out the one I liked and then asked if it was a special occasion. He just smiled and told me, “No, my wife has had a really bad day and thought these might make her feel a little bit better.” Touched at the random act of not only kindness but also romance I assured him she would and that she was very lucky to have such a thoughtful husband.
Now some might think that flowers from the grocery store are not that big of a deal. In my opinion, the old saying of “It’s the thought that counts” fits here. If more men took a page from this guys book they might learn a very valuable lesson. Random acts of romance are the way to a ladies heart. Yes, jewelry, expensive wine, or long stem roses are nice, but the little things really count the most.
Years ago, I was just seeing a new guy. We had gone out on a few dates, visited a few nightclubs and drove the hour distance to one another’s cities to spend weekends together. After a month of this, I told him I would not be able to see him for a few weeks because I was having throat surgery. Now mind you we were only just dating, and for the first half of that month not even exclusively. When I arrived at my parent’s house from the hospital to recoup, I checked my cell phone to find two messages from him to see how I was. To me that was very touching. Then on the third day, he called to my parent’s house, a number I gave him in case something came up. He once again was calling to check on me. Since my throat was, still a mess he talked to my mother and offered to come out and spend a few days with me since she was going back to work. Sitting with someone who could barely whisper and could not eat solid food does not sound like a good time to anyone, but he drove out and stayed with me regardless. We sat in our pajamas and watched television took naps and just relaxed. I knew then he had work piling up on his desk but he assured me everything would be waiting when he got back. In my opinion, this was one of the greatest acts of romance ever! He came out and basically kept me company without ever thinking he was going to “get lucky” never even tried a thing even though most nights we shared a bed.
You may be asking yourself what is romantic about someone you are dating taking care of you when you are sick? I say EVERYTHING! The man had a job, a life, and friends he was putting off to sit and watch re-runs and talk shows with me and receive nothing in return. (Well, when I felt better I did thank him in my own way, but that is not a family friendly topic.)
Society today has a tendency to over think things. Romance does not have to be a gesture so large that everyone notices. Romance can be as simple as rubbing your feet after a long day, the bouquet of grocery store flowers, buying pizza so you do not have to cook. Say the word romance to a typical man and watch their eyes roll. This is because they instantly think you want something over the top crazy and lavish. There are times that old fashioned romance is not only needed but necessary but if we continue to expect those grand attempts all of the time we will find ourselves disappointed. Accept the small offers. Appreciate the thought and effort that went into it even if he did nothing more than dial the phone and charge a pizza on his credit card. You did not have to cook did you? You did not pay for it either, did you? He was being thoughtful and the male version of romantic.
When the time comes that you find one who opens doors, lets you order first or even shows up on the door step with flowers on the first date. GRAB ON WITH BOTH HANDS! You may have not only found Mr. Right but also possibly Mr. Perfect! If you do not want him take part in the dating catch and release system… someone else might!
